Every now and then I'll find that one blog post. That one that seems like it was written directly to or about me. I wonder if the person writing the post is watching us with some kind of secret camera or if she's just some kind of kindred spirit. I experienced that today on the blog Scary Mommy in a post titled "Because Some the Children Will Be Grown." It's about a husband and wife who find themselves putting each other last in a war against each other in raising their young children.
T and I are struggling with this. We have what our doctor describes as a spirited child. She can be the sweetest little thing on the face of the earth, but she can turn that around quicker than anyone. "Oh here go hell come." Seriously, it's bad. She controls the tone of our weekends.It all depends on what her temperament is that morning. We have those days when she ends up screaming because I took her toy away after she chucked it across the room at me at 7:30 a.m. You know it's all going downhill from there. It does not matter how much T and I swear up and down to each other that we will stand strong, be a team and not let her tear us down.
That lasts about a couple hours, if that.
In the winter, we are stuck in the house, and it was awful. Right now it's not much better. Neither of us really looks forward to the weekends. We can't go anywhere because of our spirited kid. You never know how it's going to result. We try. We try going to the museum, going out to eat...hell, even just go to the park. Every now and then it'll go well. Nine times out of ten the shit hits the fan within 15 minutes.
So we take it out on each other. We go to war, and dammit, we are good at it. You take two incredibly stubborn people and well...it's not going to end well. We become each other's worst enemies. Words are said - things we know damn well will cut the person deep. Because we are each other's best friends, we know everything about each other, including the one thing that will break that person down.
We are tired - more mentally and emotionally than physically. It. Never. Ends. And just like the movie Groundhog Day, our weekends pretty much suck.
I see my friends with kids and wonder if they go through the same thing? Or is it just us? I see these people on Facebook going out and doing fun family things, and I hate them. Well, not hate but I resent them. Because if I took a picture it'd be: "Here we are, Aubrey screaming because she can't pet the monkey behind the glass" or "This is T and Aubrey after a knockdown fight with her throwing herself on the ground because I don't have a sucker in my purse."
By the time night comes, we are so tired of all of it and so irritated with each other that we just want to be left alone. Couple time? I don't want to be in the same room as this person. Why would we have a romantic dinner?
Are we the only ones? Apparently not.
I think the thing we need to master is the ending the war part. I think I might be the first to take that step. I don't have to be right, and I don't have to hold the grudge. In the end, none of it is worth it, and all we are doing is hurting each other.
War is hell, right?
But like this blogger said - someday she'll be grown.